Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours..
2002-11-30 at 8:07 a.m.

 

You know, sometimes I get some cool stuff posted through my front door. Take for example this A4 sheet that my neighbour makes. It's our block of flats Newswire. This week it consists of a list of things that she can hear when she is awake in the middle of the night.

It's entitled 'Rejoice! You are never alone.' I think that's a humorous-jokey-reminder-hint-thing isn't it? Graah. She lives next door to me and Mr Me so presumably some of this may be directed at us. I think our bedrooms are only seperated by a wall.

Apparently she can hear people pissing, and shagging. Quality. Maybe we can have some fun with this.

I'm going to take days off when she's around, wave Mr Me off to work and 30 minutes later start making sex noises and shouting 'Oh, big boy.. harder, harder'. Or even 'Mmmm, girls sure know how to do THAT better than boys.'

That'll give her something to talk about.

You may think I am being mean to this nice neighbourly woman. But bear in mind that I was once looking out my window as she bumped into the back of my expensive classic car. She looked up at the window, made a face at me and drove off. She didn't even get out of her car to see whether she'd caused any damage, neither did she ask me next time she saw me. So I'm sorry, but I don't subscribe to her brand of neighbourliness.