I just want a guilt free Christmas.
2002-12-20 at 8:06 a.m.

 

When I have kids I'm going to impose regular guilt trips on them. It seems to be incredibly effective.

Now, if you've been reading up to this point you'll know that Christmas and Christmas arrangements are a bit of a bugger for me.

The situation as it currently stands is that my parents are coming to our house on Christmas day. Good. So, on Christmas day, my parents get to see me. Now, granted in the previous twenty-fucking-three years of my life they've had it their own way and I went to their house. Now I have a family of my own (just me and Mr Me, but I define that as a family), plus his kids and his parents and I'd like to be involved with them as well. So we decided to stay at home. Well Mr Me decided and I thought hell, it's a good enough idea.

My parents are therefore having to come and see me. This initially sounded like a bad idea as I felt guilty that they had to uproot their whole Christmas. Then I thought, hang on, I've been having their Christmas for a long time now, surely I get to have a go?

Well, no. Turns out I'm not going to be allowed to enjoy it at any rate.

Because enter that most evil of parenting devices. THE GUILT TRIP. I phoned my mum yesterday to inquire about the desires of my family for Christmas. This rapidly turned into what the arrangements are going to be over Christmas. This rapidly turned into my mother saying 'Just remember, I could get all uptight over this, but I'm not, because I'm being laid-back and not getting upset. But I could get upset'. This while I'm at work, and very tired and unable to form a coherent response that doesn't involve swear words or slamming the phone down.

Now, we've discussed arrangements for Christmas several times. Here's how it stands. We want to see;

My parents

His kids and his grandchild

His parents

Our friends

His extended family

Right. I just *love* blended families.

So, on Christmas day we will be seeing my parents and his parents. On Boxing Day we'll be seeing his kids and grandchild, the rest will be around. To me, this seems fair. To my mother, it doesn't. Apparently, I should be having a Christmas dinner at her house on Boxing Day.

Oh and my sister's cross with me. I tell you, she'll be grateful one day. When she wants to have Christmas in a different way she'll be glad I forged that path. Like the having-your-boyfriend-stay-over path, and the going-to-the-pub-before-you-are-18 path, and the having-the-boyfriend-around-at-Christmas path, the not-having-to-be-at-home-New-Year's-eve path. The moving out path. Hell, I make all the paths and she just follows behind in my wake. Moses must have felt like this. 'I part the Red Sea for you people, and you just saunter on through. Not a word of thanks. Gee.'

Perhaps there's a cloning device somewhere that means I can be in 3 places at once. That would be handy. Anybody know of one?

Christmas. The season to be jolly. Humph. Could anyone who actually enjoys the festive season leave me a message to tell me what's so good about it.